Life

Most people don’t seem to think a teenager understands life or the things in it. Why is that? Some young people live more in sixteen years than people in their thirties and forties. Just like everyone else, we have seen our family members go to war. We have seen our friends suffer from drugs. Some of us have been abused in one way or another. We are early parents, failures in school, and even have our own way of relationships. Yet, we have “no idea” how hard life is.

Bring A Coat


Clear skies on a sunny day
Still a rain cloud follows me
The sun shines rays of light and happiness to all
As puddles form below me
A cool breeze softens the heat
But not enough to dampen spirits
A cold gust freezes my body
I welcome it; others fear it
I know the weather gets bad sometimes
Better early than late
Sunny days will come for me
All I have to do is wait
The next time it rains for everyone
They will suffer the most
While they freeze and cry, I learn from my mistakes
This time I’ll bring a coat




Suicidal Sarah


Sarah was always by herself.
Even though she had friends on her right and left.
She felt isolated even in a crowd.
No one knew then. They all know now.
Sarah wasn’t treated right when she was young.
Her father had his mind set on a son.
Disappointed with what he had,
He didn’t even acknowledge himself as her dad.
Later on, it became hard to face.
The fact her dad was touching her in the wrong place.
This went on into her teenage years.
She had no one to turn to except a bottle and fear.
When that didn’t do, she turned to drugs.
Which led to her association with neighborhood thugs.
She gave her body up for them to have fun.
In exchange, they taught her about a gun.
Three beatings and an abortion later.
Nothing else could happen that could even faze her.
Drunk, high, and dead inside.
Out of places to run, and nowhere else to hide.
The next time her father crept in her room,
And assured her it would all be over soon,
She put a loaded weapon to his brain,
Then to herself to ease the pain.
No one ever noticed Sarah was so sad.
Except for the friends she didn’t know she had.
But now her soul is safe and at peace.
And all the hurt she felt has now ceased.




Fear


Fear
Four letters, one word
Scares men, frightens girls
All in the mind
Most not real
To overcome a fear
To ignore what you feel
Fear of an experience
You don’t want to partake
Scared of whatever consequences
It might make
Fear of harm
To come to one’s self
Fear of harm with no one to help
Fear of a first
And fear of a last
A blind situation
Over with too fast
“Nothing to fear…” you know the rest
Fear is what you make it, so make it the best




I Can Do It


Dreams that are beyond reach
Hopes that become reality
Hard work and patience leave wishes within grasp
Strength of the heart, strength of the mentality

What does not kill us, makes us stronger
What does not happen, makes us wait longer
Steady mind and steady soul move forward
Milestones and feats slowly conquered

Visions of success and triumph frequent
Sweat drips from thoughts of failure
Unsure of what to expect next
Positive progress is the only cure.




A Letter


Black ink running on a four-page letter
Written feelings fragile like a feather
Teardrops on the paper like Washington weather
Kind words, but not feeling any better

I’m a simple man that likes simple things
Gifts don’t bring what love brings
And girls don’t sing songs that birds sing
Or dream dreams that I dream

Lately my appetite ain’t acting right
Get along with all, but with myself I fight
What I need right now is no where in sight
A sign, or anything, would be nice




Prepared


A lot of people don’t see what I see
Is everyone dirty or am I just too clean
To error is to be human, everyone makes mistakes
Forgive and forget, is that so hard of a promise to make
It’s real fake
People act like they care but they really don’t
They think about themselves to get what they want and you think they won’t
It’s very hard to find someone you can actually trust
To be a close friend, to love before lust
But first you must
See the good in all
Wait, no, see they are no good at all
Make a first impression before one can be made
Prepare for the worst and let the foundation be laid
That blindside hit always leaves a mark
Don’t see it coming, just lost in the dark
When it happens the first time, you know better the next
You realize the mistake you made with the opposite sex
What goes around comes around, but ten times as bad
Keep that in mind when for yourself you feel sad.




Boy To A Man


Being a boy to becoming a man
Long journey, no patience, and responsibility
On ones own
Hard work, loneliness, struggle for stability
Starting a new life
New home, new friends, new things
Make it worth living
Stuff to do, socialize, and spread wings
Better yourself
Workout, new look, learn more
Make more money
Good job, save money, give more
Be yourself, watch yourself, and handle yourself




Fate


a quest for Meaning,
meaning of Life,
purpose of Life,
reason for Life,
what controls Life?
Fate.
oh, the many wonders of Fate,
but who controls Fate?
God?
She might, if She has a sense of humor.

Fate plays with us.
It leads us to believe one thing,
but It always has something else in store.
Fate is always questioned, but Fate never answers.
if God doesn’t control Fate, are They partners?
do They work together in harmony?
or do They compete with each other?
if God is doing the good deeds,
then is Fate responsible for the misleads and surprises?
or is it reversed?
we are at constant battle with Fate,
or maybe it’s just me.




Days Turned To Months


Days turned to months
But still I stay strong
My life has gone forward
But still I hold on?
But all of it’s gone!
Why do I continue to sing
The same old song
That’s been sung before
I am sad nevermore
“Quote the raven”
And I see
My soul needs saving
I think fate’s misbehaving
I think fate’s insinuating
That something’s not right
Not right to be hating




Caving In


Days turn to months
And months into years
Smiles turn into frowns
And frowns into tears
Deeper and deeper I go
I’m trapped in
Unstable walls like unstable me
Are about to cave in




Gone Wrong


Too many times things have gone wrong
Not enough times things have gone right
Always had fun and interesting days
But cold and quiet nights
Sunny days have come again
And finally now they’re here to stay
I know what I need and I know what I want
And how to get it without giving my soul away
I can’t be who I’m not
I can only be who I am
Even sometimes I hate myself
But I always do what I can




Imprints in the Sand


Rolling waves on a vacant shore
Blue skies, bright sun, many birds soar
A warm breeze ruffles the leaves on palm trees
Plays the shells like piano keys and blows the sand off my feet
Deep thoughts of life float in the air
Alone on the beach but at the same time not really there
Morning turns to afternoon, and the afternoon turns to night
By myself with no one in sight
Steps towards the water where the end will begin
Imprints in the sand are left from someone never seen again




This Is Hard


Life is hard; no one said it would be easy
Too much work, not enough play, life doesn’t please me
I’ve heard it gets better with age and patients are due
I’ve also been told to enjoy it while I’m young, but which is true?
Struggle in school and work, struggle with money and bills
Life is full of nothing but slips and spills
Is it worth it? Definitely it is!
Life isn’t worth ending over problems that exist
You think you got it bad; there is always someone worse off
You think you got it good; there is always a problem to solve
Take life as it comes and treat it like a test
Learn from every experience and be smarter than the rest
When you look up and ask, “Why this?” and “Why that?”
Don’t be surprised if you get no answer back
Things happen for a reason; that you have to accept
If nothing but bad happens, there is nothing but good left.




Abused


Like ink to paper, you absorb all abuse
You wash your hands but never cleanse the truth
What’s the use?
You think you deserve these beatings
Just because your boyfriend thinks you’re cheating
Jumping to conclusions like squares in hopscotch
Hitting you as your children watch
I’m telling you now just as I’ll tell you again
Your friends don’t care because he’s cheating with them
He knows exactly where your cash is
No matter where you hide it, he always finds where the stash is
Did you know you’re just the “other” woman?
And he spends your money on another woman
A much younger woman
A teenage mother woman
You’re in this blindfolded and too scared to take it off
You know you should leave but too scared to break it off
Come with me, I’ll show you a better way
It’s your choice; you know you shouldn’t stay




To My Unborn


There’s nothing I can do to erase the past
We did what we had to do, you wouldn’t understand
I know the chance was never yours to take
But please believe it was the hardest choice to make
It wasn’t all her, I had some say
Very little, but what am I supposed to say?
“Keep it, we’ll be ok.” or “We can manage, I know we can.”
And lie to her face like I’m not a real man
Responsibility wasn’t taken like it should have been
She cried every night for you but it was too late then
I waited too long to change my mind, I wanted you to stay
Fear is a scary thing, not knowing what comes your way
Every day I wish you were here
June is almost here, you would be a year
She had final say and we regret all the time
That you’re not here with us to be hers or mine
I can’t tell you how sorry I am
I can only apologize for being a man
For being unsure and being afraid
For being scared and trying to change fate
I learn from my mistakes and able to maintain
I promise you it will never happen again.




Mistake


Missing part
Jealous me
Can’t take back
History
If I could change
A decision we made
The game of Life
Would be differently played
A growing seed
Abruptly stopped
A mouth to feed
Idea dropped
Little remorse
A lot of regret
Flesh of my flesh
Never forget




The End Is Here


The end is near
When it snows in the spring and burns in winter
Should we fear
That soon we won’t be here?
When disease is rampant and still growing
Are we to give up hope
And turn to our prayers to find a way to cope?
Find a way to stay afloat?
When love means nothing and selfishness shows true
What are we to do?
But to prepare for the worst
A day will come when there are no cars
Just long lines led by a black hearse
Will a crowd even care to disperse
When gunshots are heard?
Or will it all be seen
Through the urgency of my words
And be they as powerful
As kings once were

It’s Over

Existing has ended
There cannot be life without death
Taking breath after breath
Until there is none left
Mind and heart feeling faint
Eyes failing to see before me
Darkness everywhere, people screaming
Someone please, get help for me
This is it
My life has passed before my eyes, so this must be the end
This is what I feared for so long
This is where the hurting stops and freedom begins

The Next Day


Tomorrow is another day
To start over what I did today
To make things right from mistakes I made
Or forget them as I did yesterday
Tomorrow will be better
If not then, the day after
And turn the tears of sadness
To the joyous tears of laughter
Tomorrow is my turn to do whatever
To make the day mine and relax
And get what I need to do, done
I would very much like that